In an effort to avoid polluting the internet with more babble about the 2013 Academy Awards than necessary, I’ve prepared a few short and sweet musings about Sunday’s gala, organized by topic. ENJOY!
LIFE OF PI is not a real movie.
As regular readers of this blog know, one of my most persistent paranoid fantasies involves a cabal of performance artists who orchestrate elaborate pranks of which I am the sole victim. So forgive me for thinking that Life of Pi is not an actual movie, but a satirical stunt designed to show how the Academy can be counted on to throw a few votes towards literally anything that features enough familiar buzzwords: Ang Lee! (Brokeback Mountain) Indians! (Slumdog Millionaire) Animals! (The Greatest Show on Earth? I’m stretching here.) When Lee accepted his Best Director award, I was half expecting him to peel off his face Scooby-Doo-style and reveal a grinning Sacha Baron Cohen underneath.
I haven’t seen any movies starring Jennifer Lawrence.
None of them.
UPDATE: I forgot I saw The Hunger Games.
Seth MacFarlane: auteur or asshole?
If I were a political blogger, I would say something about how it’s indicative of the deep cultural divisions in the USA that Seth MacFarlane can at once be a hugely successful celebrity with a devoted following and multiple highly-rated TV shows, and a constantly maligned hack whose work is so loathed that hating him is de rigueur. To prove my point, while watching the Oscar telecast with my girlfriend’s family, her brother guffawed loudly at every MacFarlane joke, even applauding occasionally (!), while my girlfriend (who makes it no secret that MacFarlane has a place of honor on what she daintily calls her Unfunny Piece of Shit List) could only scowl and shake her head in shame at how low our comedy standards have fallen.
All this aside, I would recommend that anyone who hasn’t seen it yet should watch this Family Guy pilot made in 1995. It’s not very funny any way you look at it, but what’s incredible is just how similar it is to any episode of any MacFarlane show you might watch today (and only partly because most of the jokes were recycled for early Family Guy episodes) and what’s more, it’s indistinguishable in tone and content from this year’s Oscar host segments. MacFarlane fought hard for years to get his very specific comedic vision made, working through rejection, failure, and cancellation. And no matter what your opinion of him is, he was able to take the dull, usually porridge-bland job of Oscar host and make it his own. Whether you prefer your Oscar ceremonies to be a four hour long episode of Family Guy or NOT is, ah, up to your own discretion.
The only Oscar commentary you need.
Of course, all my ramblings are moot. Just watch this: